Criticism can erode self-esteem faster than an ocean wave hitting a sandcastle. When the harsh critiques come from within, negative thoughts can spiral into self-doubt, which sabotages motivation and goals.
The reverse, however, is also true: Positive self-talk can strengthen mood, confidence, and resilience.
According to a review of the literature, self-affirmations have immediate and long-lasting positive effects on our self-perception, sense of self-worth, and overall well-being. Positive self-talk improves emotional regulation, steadying mood and reactivity. All of this makes challenges feel more manageable, unlocking even more positive self-talk.
How to Kick Off a Positive Feedback Loop
Affirmations are highly personal; they can serve whatever purpose you need them to and take whatever positive tone works best for you. You can use affirmations preventatively, on a regular basis, or you can deftly employ them during moments of stress. They can be whatever you need them to be.
To provide inspiration, we asked Embody readers to share the self-affirmations that effectively boost their sense of confidence, resilience, worthiness, and strength. Here is what they told us:
When We Need a Dose of Love
“I remind myself that I have a big heart and a lot of empathy and understanding for other people and their ‘stuff.’ When I imagine pumping my heart up with those feelings, I feel joy in who I am.” — Carly, Vermont
“I ask myself, ‘What is the kindest thing I can do for myself right now?’” — Chantelle, Canada
“When I have to eat alone in a crowded room, be alone at seminar or in a new exercise group, I pretend I’m an exotic beautiful woman everyone is secretly admiring.” — An Embody Reader
“My children and I do positive affirmations every morning on the way to school. ‘I am confident. I am kind. I don’t care what other people think. I am in charge of my own feelings and emotions. I am going to do one nice thing today.’ Then, at night, we say what we’re grateful for.” — Gabe, Florida
When We Need a Dose of Confidence
“I have had loved ones tell me that I am more capable than I know and that I’ve always made it through difficult things. I often hear their words echoing in my mind rather than my own. This helps me a lot.” — Daneesha, Canada
“I am a good person. I deserve love. I am calm. I am peace.” — An Embody Reader
“I have enough. I do enough. I am enough.” — Jill, Texas
“I am in progress. I accept myself just where I am.” — Nora, Oregon
When We Need a Cheerleader
“I tell myself ‘I can do this’ about 1,000 times a day to try to keep going.” — Adrienne, California
“I like these words from Martin Luther King Jr.: ‘If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl. But by all means, keep moving.’” — Mary, Florida
“When presented with a choice such as doing the dishes or playing video games, I tell myself, ‘Do the hard thing.’ It’s usually the hard thing I’ll feel best about later. I also often say, ‘We can’t always be the best, but we always have the choice to do our best.’” — An Embody Reader
“Be stronger than your excuses.” — Nicole, New Jersey
“I used the ‘don’t quit’ poem all through college to be kinder to myself. ‘When things go wrong, as they sometimes will; When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill. Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.’” — Eleanor, California
When We’re Stressed or Overwhelmed
“You! Are! Worthy! You’re stressed right now, but you have a history of snatching victory out of the jaws of defeat.” — Edward, Oregon
“I might say to myself, ‘It’s just in your head and not reality’ to remind myself that what I think isn’t necessarily true.” — Sam, United Kingdom
“I don’t have to be everyone’s ‘person.’ I’m allowed to make mistakes. I’m not my mistakes.” — An Embody Reader
“‘Breathe and step back’ is my most often repeated inner talking point when things get rough. I also use ‘You are not a problem to be solved’ by Eckhart Tolle.” — Ameliana, North Carolina.
