What is gym-timidation? It’s the feeling of being so intimidated by the environment, activities, and people at a fitness center that you stop (or fail to start) being physically active. The feeling can originate from internal doubts (“I’m too heavy to do this”), or it can be triggered by external cues (a gym’s marketing materials only featuring young, slender bodies). It can make you feel so uncomfortable, ashamed, weak, and/or awkward that you avoid participating in any and all fitness activities. 

Unfortunately, not all gyms are welcoming to everyone. In fact, research shows that weight bias among fitness professionals is shockingly common. According to one paper published in Obesity Reviews, researchers found evidence of weight bias among exercise professionals in 85% of the studies they examined. Hopeful clients are turned off by gyms again and again when they encounter trainers who regard people with obesity as a problem that needs to be solved, as well as intake procedures that include humiliating questions, measurements, weigh-ins, and unrealistic goal-setting. 

Here’s how I worked through gym-timidation and how you can, too.

My Story

Even though I’ve always loved athletics (as a kid I played soccer and softball), I’ve always felt ashamed of my plus-sized body. When puberty kicked in and I started to get bigger, I began to believe that my weight would keep me from doing great things and, over time, my shame and embarrassment grew. By the time I hit my 20s, I had swapped my athletic lifestyle for a sedentary desk job. That was a big mistake on my part – I was really bored, and all that time glued to a computer was wreaking havoc on my body. 

My breaking point came one ordinary morning when I couldn’t fit into any of my work clothes. Buttons weren’t buttoning, zippers wouldn’t zip, and nearly everything I tried on was too small. That’s when I decided to sign up for a gym membership. 

Entering a gym as an adult was intimidating, at first. I wore baggy clothes to hide my body and worked out only on the machines that I thought would result in weight loss, like the treadmill. The treadmill bored me, though, so I signed up for some dance classes. Hip hop and Masala Bhangra were super fun, but pole dancing was the true game changer for me. You see, pole dancing wasn’t centered on my weight, but rather, what my body could do. That was a completely new concept for me. It was in the pole studio where I finally started shedding some of my shame — and my big, baggy clothes too, thanks to supportive classmates.

I ended up loving my time and experiences at the gym so much that I switched careers so I’d never have to sit at a desk all day again. Today, I’m a full-time fitness professional who proudly wears sports bras, leggings, and little else to work. I’m still fighting some internal body shame, but it doesn’t rule my life like it once did.

What You Can Do

If you’re feeling intimidated about fitness, here’s my advice:

  • Prioritize fun: Once I focused on having fun at the gym, rather than reaching my “objectives” (i.e., losing weight), I started seeing positive changes in my body. More importantly, going to the gym was no longer a chore, but something I really looked forward to. Pole dancing was the last thing I ever thought would turn me into a gym rat, yet, here I am, 41 years old, still dancing my butt off.
  • Be prepared to fail: Nobody (even those seemingly confident workout warriors in the perfect gym outfits) is good at everything, especially right off the bat. That Zumba class you’d like to take or the rowing machine you want to try? Give it a go, especially if that takes you outside of your comfort zone.
  • Set your own goals: Perhaps you’d like to walk upstairs without feeling winded, wear your favorite outfit with more confidence, or carry all of your groceries home in one trip — goals that are more attainable than, say, running a marathon or losing 100 pounds in a short amount of time. It’s also important that your goals originate from you and not other people’s expectations.
  • Skip body measurements: Some gyms ask new members to fill out questionnaires regarding their health. If questions about your current weight and measurements feel off-putting, unnecessary, or triggering, leave those questions blank. I promise, your worth is greater than your waist circumference.
  • Hire a personal trainer: There’s no need to go it alone. A trainer’s job is to support clients through their journey toward fitness glory, no matter what that looks like. Don’t be afraid to mess up in front of your trainer. I tell my clients that I expect them to be a hot mess before, during, and after their first attempts at a new movement. We are here to listen to you, educate you, and, most importantly, build your confidence in a judgment-free environment.