5 Ways to Unravel the Cognitive Distortions That Undermine Your Health

Among the most common cognitive distortions are exaggerations, overgeneralizations, all-or-nothing thinking, and "should" statements. To challenge these unhelpful thinking traps, and allow room for positive thinking, follow these steps:

• Identify distorted or overly negative thoughts. Slow down to observe the thoughts running through your mind and ask yourself, "Is this thought making me feel good or bad? What purpose is it serving?"
• Remember that not all thoughts are facts. We tend to assume that what we're thinking is true, but this is often not the case. Our thoughts may be exaggerations, opinions, or biases.
• Challenge the thought. If you're unsure whether your thinking's factual, ask yourself, "What is the evidence that this is true? What's the evidence that it's not true?"
• Tweak the thought. If you suspect your thought's not fully accurate and/or helpful, pivot. Adjusting your thoughts doesn't mean executing a complete reversal or forcing yourself to put a positive spin on things, necessarily. Even just restructuring the thought to be neutral, or validating the difficulty of the task at hand, can help.
  If your first thought is, I'm never going to lose weight, helpful adjustments might be:
  • I'm not 100% sure I'll lose weight, but I'm trying my best.
  • Losing weight is really hard for most people.
  • Even if I don't lose weight, I'm developing better eating habits, and that's great.
• Check back in with how you're feeling. Does the adjusted thought conjure more positive, or at least less negative, emotions?

Goals give us guideposts to keep us focused on desired outcomes. But if they're too ambitious, they can backfire and hurt our self-esteem. To avoid this trap, set both a bigger long-term goal and a set of mini short-term goals along the way. 

How to Shape Big-Picture Goals

When crafting your long-term goal, focus on behaviors that are under your control, rather than numbers, which may be out of your control. 

• "I'm going to eat mindfully, sitting down, with no screens," rather than "I'm going to lose 10 pounds."

Keep goals positive, focusing on what you'll do, rather than what you won't do. 

• "I will try to eat a balanced diet, with more fruits and veggies," rather than, "I'm not going to eat carbs or junk food anymore."

How to Shape Mini-Goals

In developing your short-term goals, be honest about where you are right now relative to your goal; this is your starting point. Imagine the big-picture goal you're working toward as a destination at the top of a staircase, and you're standing on the ground. How do you get to the top? One step at a time.

As you create your staircase of mini-goals, be sure they are SMART:

• Specific
• Measurable 
• Attainable
• Realistic
• Time-based

Examples of mini-goals that could help you achieve your long-term goal of walking every day: 

• Walk for 10 minutes twice a week for two weeks.
• Find a walking partner one day a week to increase accountability.
• Check in with yourself to see how you're progressing and to decide to tweak the goal if needed.

Be sure to acknowledge your accomplishment every time you reach a mini-goal.

Since life happens and we are busy living our hectic lives, we don't often have the time or perspective needed to observe how our behaviors are forming patterns, and how those patterns may be influencing one another. This is where self-monitoring can help.

Keep a log to record the daily data you'll need to reflect back on your progress, and to see your actions and choices in a holistic way. The more data you record, the more detailed the picture will be.

Some people choose to monitor different things, including what they eat, when they go to sleep and wake up, their physical exercise, and their emotional state. (For people with a history of an eating disorder, it may not be advisable to monitor your food.) Using an app designed for this purpose can make the logging easier and faster.

Over time, you will start to see patterns. Maybe you will notice that on days when you sleep eight hours or more, you eat considerably less sugar. Maybe you will notice that on the days you squeeze in exercise, you have better-quality sleep. Analyzing the data to identify patterns and consequences will help you set and execute goals, and troubleshoot tough spots.

A daily log also allows you to look back to see how far you've come, which can be deeply satisfying — and motivating.

Often during mealtimes, we're distracted or in a hurry or multi-tasking, so we barely register what we're eating. Eating mindfully is the opposite. It entails paying close attention as you eat, in order to experience the full spectrum of tastes, textures, temperatures, and aromas of the food you're consuming.

Here's a step-by-step approach to eating mindfully:

• Slow down. When you're starving or in a rush, it's tempting to wolf down your food. But when you're swallowing without even tasting your food, it's nearly impossible to tune into your body. The first step, then, is making a point to slow down your eating speed. 
• Make eating its own activity. Even if it seems unnecessary, make yourself sit down at a table or counter to enjoy your food — and keep the screens out of reach. 
• Activate all your senses: Being truly aware of the food you're eating involves all five senses. Observe the size, shape, and color of the carrot you're holding, as well as its temperature and weight in your hand, and any smells associated with it. When you bite into it, observe the sound it makes, and notice its texture and any flavors that unfold in your mouth.
• Feel your fullness or satisfaction. If you're eating slowly, it's much easier to stay in touch with your satiety signals. Even when the food is super palatable, honor your fullness by opting to stop eating when your hunger is satisfied.

Life will get in the way of your best intentions. You will face setbacks, and they will be disappointing.

Think about what's in, and out of, your control. If your goal is to get to the gym before it closes, things that may be out of your control are having to work late, traffic or train delays, or bad weather. Maybe your kid has a homework meltdown, and they need your help.

What's in your control is how you cope with curveballs, and how you shape your internal narrative. Rather than thinking, Ugh I always give up. I have no self-discipline, you could say, It was important that I be there for my kid tonight. I can exercise tomorrow.

This avoids all-or-nothing, success-or-failure thinking. Just recommit to your goal and try again tomorrow. We are all human, after all.

For more on the mindset shifts that help us manage daily stress, build confidence, and cement new habits despite setbacks, see my new book, When Life Happens (2026).