Q: "I feel like losing weight is two steps forward, one step back, and I'm always slipping up. How do I deal with this frustration?"
Very few goals are achieved without detours and setbacks. In life, we rarely keep walking forward in a perfectly straight line. But when it comes to establishing habits around eating and other aspects of weight management, we seem to have little tolerance for setbacks. It can feel difficult to allow yourself room to be human.
Here's the thing: An essential part of building healthy eating habits is knowing how to respond to slip-ups with kindness and self-forgiveness.
If you're in the habit of berating yourself when you stumble, please know that self-criticism does not yield better results; in fact, the opposite is true. Forgiving yourself and moving on with a focus on your wins (not your losses) is actually the most productive and helpful course of action.
How to create a micro-habit of self-forgiveness (most times, at least):
- Remind yourself that life doesn't move from Point A to Point B efficiently. Circumstances, people, and emotions may interfere with your path and progress. Accept that your pace will include the occasional (if not frequent) step backward or sideways. With this expectation in mind, you won't feel the emotional drag of disappointment when you falter.
- After a setback, pause. Breathe. This may give you the space to recognize and reframe a cognitive distortion like all-or-nothing thinking ("It's ruined!") or over-generalized thinking ("Why do I always do this?"). Then tell yourself, with a neutral tone, "This happens to everyone," or "Tomorrow is a completely new opportunity for me to start again."
- Remind yourself of your goal, how you hope to feel, and who you want to be. Keeping your eyes on the prize can get you back on track and can maintain your motivation at a high level.
- Practice this micro-habit often. When self-forgiveness becomes your new automatic response to a slip-up, celebrate having created a better strategy to maintain consistency with your habits.
